I betcha don't know anyone like me!

So I'm willing to wager a bet...that you, whoever it is reading this, don't know anyone like me...

Now, why exactly is that, you ask? What in the world makes me so special or unique as to make such a radical statement?

Well, lemme tell ya:

I AM A 30-YEAR OLD WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH MENOPAUSE TWICE, HAD A TOTAL HYSTERECTOMY AND TAKES BIRTH CONTROL PILLS....

Now...feel free to correct me if I am in fact wrong and throngs of other people come rushing into your mind that are like me

 in those regards...

My appointment this last Friday was really devastating and I'm not really ready to blog on that yet, it is a long work in progress and 

I'm not done yet...soon.

Now, to cover my weekend, the second weekend of March, ENDOMETRIOSIS AWARENESS MONTH. So of course it began with my second ENDOMETRIOSIS AWARENESS MONTH manicure. I'm so elated with how my nails look. I'm really growing to LOVE yellow nails. Very grateful to my amazing manicurist for this delightful manicure, can't wait to see what next week will have in store nails-wise. 

There aren't that many aspects of ENDOMETRIOSIS that are fun, cute or exciting so I plan on milking this as much as I am able :)

Because of the emotional hangover I was experiencing yesterday I knew I needed to escape for a little while. Funny that an adventure meant to distract or lose myself for a bit in actuality helped me to more uncomfortably, less frantically land back within myself and my body. I'm very lucky and grateful to my dear friend who volunteered to go on this pilgrimage up north- I knew I had to go to this particular place: Morro Rock, about three hours north of where we live. I couldn't physically do the drive due to medications and physical discomfort, oh and the tears falling down my cheeks continuously for the duration of our drive.

This first picture is from a store we stopped in and explored on one of our stops along the way. I ended up buying the most amazing scarves that can be buttoned into several different styles and be worn as a vest, shawl, scarf, cardigan-type thing, super cute -- next to the scarf things was this beautiful, perfectly simple and serene Buddha display. I took one breath here that changed the tone of my trip from that of running away to that of heading back within.

After that we went to Bubblegum Alley. I always take friends there when passing through. I never react with less disgust than my first time there, it is decades and layers upon layers of chewed bubblegum pressed into this brick wall. It disgusts me and I love it at the same time LOL.

Finally we made it to our destination, Morro Rock, and the magical seawater that flows there. I feel so at home at any coastal areas, but none more than Morro. The rock and the water is the perfect combination for me to get back into my rhythm in such a nurturing, peaceful and beautiful way. I love this picture so much. I feel like it just says everything that was gained and/or accomplished on this trip. 

I AM BACK IN MYSELF

I AM SAFE TO BE BACK IN MYSELF

MY BODY IS SAFE

IT IS SAFE TO FEEL GOOD

IT IS SAFE TO BE A WOMAN

Yesterday was March 8th and the theme of the ENDOMETRIOSIS AWARENESS photo challenge was that of:

CHANGE

This was yet another somewhat easy theme for me to choose a photo. The photo on the left is of me crying, feeling defeated, hiding in the bathroom right after my devastating Dr appointment Friday afternoon and the peaceful, natural and at-home in myself pic on the right was taken yesterday- almost exactly 24 hours later. I don't think anything else could say CHANGE more than this.

Then this morning I woke up in excruciating pain from endo and Katie has returned. Luckily I have my very own magical, Buddha cat to cuddle with and to offer me his healing heat and LOVE. We spent several hours molded together with comfy blankets, loving each other and him healing me.

My mom offered to take me out for an ENDOMETRIOSIS AWARENESS pedicure. I put my wrap on and realized just how much Katie had grown/returned. That is really an emotional discovery, aside from the physical pain that accompanies her.

I have spent the remainder of my day with Tink, my baby, both lounging and doing laundry. Hoping I wake up tomorrow finding myself feeling physically relieved from the cramping, pulsing and pulling pain.

Today is March 10, and the ENDOMETRIOSIS AWARENESS MONTH photo challenge theme is:

the + now

It feels perfectly related to my experiences yesterday. And is the perfect theme to lift myself back up and out.

I found this image from a breaking session I had several months ago. I wrote on it my connection to the theme of the day:

sometimes our

greatest pains

later become

our greatest strengths

I do truly, deep down to my ENDOMETRIOSIS-riddled gut believe that statement. I look forward to the day when I'm feeling better and I'm able to give back the LOVE, wisdom and support I've received from each and every one of my ENDOMETRIOSIS sisters. I love them (you) all. It is such a strong bond to be had. 

I'm grateful for my weekend in its entirety.

Physically I feel awful awful awful BUT I do feel more settled and less desperate than I did Friday afternoon. I'm not sure when my healing or relief will take place but I'm no longer hopeless about it EVER coming my way.

Thank you all so much for reading my blog. I appreciate it in ways I cannot even describe.

~om.

Love, love to all.