This was an incredibly long week, both work-wise and physically, not to mention emotionally. This post is kind of a "part two" or, better yet, a follow up to my post about my amazing hike and the endometriosis cave.
This first picture is me Friday morning, ready for work, with Katie. When I began my day Friday I had absolutely no idea what a life-chang day was ahead of me.
Friday was quite possibly one of the craziest workdays I've had in a very long time which left me really not feeling very well physically. After work I had an appointment with my painting teacher Jamie, who also happens to be a magical wizard of LOVE. When I arrived I didn't feel that well physically and had quite the Katie apparent while having lost a significant amount of weight in the past few weeks. We were out in the yurt, which is one of my favorite spaces ever, very magical energy, and we started talking about the hike and my experience there. It was really the first time I had spoken about that special hike aloud. Some of our conversation is really too sacred to share, but Jamie offered to do something to Katie that has definitely never been done: to lovingly massage special rose lotion
on her. I was a little nervous at first for a few reasons, I was struggling with finding Katie embarrassing and haven't had her touched much at all. I closed my eyes took a few breaths and let Jamie do it. The second she started I knew I had absolutely made the right decision as I could feel something indescribable happening within Katie. It felt so incredibly relaxing, soothing and loving to have this done. It was a very special experience. When we were done with our appointment we scheduled or next appt time and I quickly used her bathroom before my drive home and it was then that I noticed the significant difference in the size of Katie. It was amazing. I excitedly showed Jamie.
The following picture was taken when I got home. . . Most definitely the smallest, and the softest, Katie has been throughout this entire endo return.
I had an awful night, a lot of crying, pain, nausea, restlessness. I was also kind of nervous that Katie was going to return overnight. However, I wad pleasantly surprised when I got up and found her even smaller, which is this next picture.
It is greatly due to this furry little beast that I've survived these past few physically devastatingly painful nights. He miraculously knows exactly what to do and does it with all of his big heart and healing soul.
Saturday afternoon I had an appt with my meditation, healing teacher Diana. She is the one who has helped me develop this concept of BRAVE healing that I am trying to find my way through. We both noticed immediately the change within myself, including my mental, physical, emotional, spiritual states.
I'm not sure I can put words to all that has transpired over the past week, but I can say without a doubt that massive BRAVE healing is truly beginning to happen withing my physical and spiritual selves.
I FINALLY BELIEVE I CAN FEEL BETTER- THAT I WILL FEEL BETTER! That is the vital first step of this BRAVE healing process. I am very excited to be occupying this new emotional place, as I now know I am in the place from which I can be propelled forward from into REAL healing.
The following pictures are from Diana. She wrote the BRAVE healing on the much smaller Katie.
(The red marks below the writing are burn marks from unfortunately hot heating pads)
Currently, physically, I am in a lot of pain and experiencing nearly overwhelming nausea, while still enjoying a noticeably smaller Katie. I am thoroughly enjoying resting with my very healing kitty. I consider myself very lucky to have such a sentient, loving, gentle, healing being at my side during this battle.
Thank you all for reading this. And sending special thanks out to Jamie my magical wizard of LOVE, Diana, my mom, my coworkers and boss, my dear friends.
LOVE you all.
~namasté.
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