I'm finally on all of my meds that the Dr suggested. Still not feeling good, but there was a small improvement. However my bloating (aka Katie) is continuing to grow.
It seems the latest theme of my endo discussions and personal experience is the highly painful irony that this disease that can either cause directly or indirectly (like my having to have a hysterectomy at age 28 because of my symptoms) infertility...then the same disease gives you bloating that looks like pregnancy...you have to walk around, everyone assuming you're pregnant, while you're unable to ever have children, or at least bear your own and are likely in excruciating pain that accompanies a bloat that big. It really hurts, really. It is like pouring salt into an already gaping wound, or pouring salt into the womb, I suppose in this case. As if the physical symptoms alone aren't torturous enough, the emotional issues that stem from endo make this disease unbearably painful- in every way. I am struggling to hold onto hope...really struggling. It just hurts so much and causes major discomfort. The nausea adds to it and has returned also.
I'm absolutely terrified of my life becoming the nothingness it was for so long. This disease has taken away, or over, so many parts of my life and it is very scary, frustrating, sad to have been diagnosed with the same disease.
Tonight I'm assisting with and attending a very special Winter Solstice celebration and I'm absolutely dreading going with how big Katie is... I don't have a standard response yet for the pregnancy comments so they still completely throw me off.
Hoping for an easy day for all of my endosisters out there, including myself.
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