Any of my readers that have met me or likely read any other posts, probably knows that I love my kitties more than I can describe. However, tonight my mother and I experienced, YET AGAIN, the most disturbing, and truly the only disturbing, aspect of being a kitty mommy: FELINE GIFT GIVING. Unfortunately this refers to little furry animals, that used to be alive (God Willing) or are some level of dead, that are brought INTO our home by our precious little Wilby. Here is his guilty, yet undeniable cute, mug now:
I can say with complete assurance that I am right, when I say that the only thing that disturbs me more than my precious kitty bringing me dead animals he's hunted is the bloat tat can be associated with Endometriosis!
This has been an intense, in terms of pain AND bloating, week, but specifically a particularly intense day. Normally my kitties offer me ton of support when I'm not feeling well. I will admit that I look at them a bit differently after I've received a gift. It is disturbing to think my cute, cuddly cats are cold-hearted killers. YUK (super grateful one of my best friends of the past 30 years was only one house away and once I convinced him we DID need his help that he came and got it!) Unfortunately this morning I had to cancel yet another day of living and fun I had planned with a friend because of the pain I've been trying to chase unsuccessfully now all day-- actually to be honest for several days. The strong narcotics I take are not even taking the edge off the pain I'm experiencing. My surgery is three weeks away from yesterday; fingers crossed that this will be exactly what I need!
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| Doesn't exactly have the killer look in his eyes; but trust me: I just wiped a piece of tail from his lips. LOL I'm totally kidding. |
I can say with complete assurance that I am right, when I say that the only thing that disturbs me more than my precious kitty bringing me dead animals he's hunted is the bloat tat can be associated with Endometriosis!
This has been an intense, in terms of pain AND bloating, week, but specifically a particularly intense day. Normally my kitties offer me ton of support when I'm not feeling well. I will admit that I look at them a bit differently after I've received a gift. It is disturbing to think my cute, cuddly cats are cold-hearted killers. YUK (super grateful one of my best friends of the past 30 years was only one house away and once I convinced him we DID need his help that he came and got it!) Unfortunately this morning I had to cancel yet another day of living and fun I had planned with a friend because of the pain I've been trying to chase unsuccessfully now all day-- actually to be honest for several days. The strong narcotics I take are not even taking the edge off the pain I'm experiencing. My surgery is three weeks away from yesterday; fingers crossed that this will be exactly what I need!
All woman are accustomed to some bloating, either due to water weight, super fun hormones and then of course PMS or menstrual-related bloating, but I truly believe the bloating that accompanies endometriosis is on another level of severity! It is crazy how our bellies can vary even within the period of one day, or like today, in the span of just a few hours.
Here is an example of how I was this afternoon, absolutely NOT bloated at all,
to extremely bloated a mere 3 hours later!
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| What an insane difference! |
I cannot believe the difference in these pictures this afternoon! So crazy. The bloating is not necessarily related to the level of pain, I was in just as much pain earlier as I was when the second picture was taken. I have also been incredibly enormous and not had significant pain. It is kind of mind-blowing and I have not been given a satisfying explanation of what it is related to or why it happens so intensely in endometriosis. Here are some crazy enormous bloating pictures!
Bloating like this just makes the already overwhelming pain, nausea, insomnia, etc. incredibly more noticeable. People approach, and happily so, to touch, congratulate and give well wishes to me, the young and apparently happy looking, pregnant woman. Since I've been fighting this disease for 18 years and I've undergone surgeries that have made pregnancies or even being related to my own children (effective 3 weeks from yesterday) is no longer possible. Random people approaching to give me what I assume are genuine well wishes have no idea what they're triggering, but it also isn't exactly socially polite to assume young, abdominally bloated women are pregnant. In my whole life I have never approached anyone I didn't know and said anything like that ever, much less reached out my hand and touched an unknown, hopefully pregnant stomach. Even though it has been several years I've been dealing with this dreaded disease and stressful, painful symptom, people approaching me in this way still triggers and upsets me in the same way it did that very first time. I don't even have a worked out, generic response to give out when this happens.
Sigh, I guess after a day of flat belly to a few months pregnant has resulted in a strong urge to vent!
I've also decided that I'm going to end each post with an endomtriosis fact, an inspirational quote and possibly a cute Tink the Bengal picture:
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| This amazing Facebook group called Eno Warriors posts various factoids about Endometriosis every in March which is Endometriosis Awareness Month, so I decided to start off this new closing tradition with one of their most poignant facts! |
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| A friend posted this to my Facebook a few months ago and I was deeply touched by this quote; it is partially why I even blog in the first place! |
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| SUCH a handsome boy! |
Here's to hoping that we endoSisters catch a break tonight and the pain starts to dissolve, we can all get some deeply restorative rest tonight and enjoy a relaxing Sunday before a new week begins!
In peace and love,
Stephanie
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