Well, this has been one of the longest weeks of my life. Anxiously making my return to work after nearly a week off AND I have my consultation appointment at UCLA tomorrow afternoon! Physically this week has been rough. Nearly endless nausea, vomiting, chest pain, shortness of breath, severe pelvic and abdominal cramping, insomnia-- sounds like fun, eh?
Well this is what a sleepless night, filled with puking, cramping and sharp chest pain looks like:
But with a little make up, redheaded determination and brushed hair and this is what it looks like when the above monster goes out in public, or in this case, to the office. This was my best attempt to look like a "normal", working, healthy woman instead of the sickie I feel like.
After several trips to various emergency rooms and seeing, also telephonically consulting with a few doctors it is FINALLY tomorrow that I will be going to UCLA to meet with a surgeon to discuss my symptoms and DEVELOP A PLAN OF ATTACK. My goal of course is to get back to a normal life as soon as humanly possible. I am so exhausted physically from being ill and emotionally am extremely distraught from the devastation resulting in this painful relapse after my last surgery in June; I mistakenly thought that I would be "cured" after that and have been just absolutely overwhelmed by the emotions that have accompanied this physical relapse and increasing of symptoms. I am sooooooo incredibly nervous and excited about this appointment. I am nervous that the problem will be really bad, as I have already been given some possible diagnoses from various doctors thus far and none of them are anything that I want, and I am excited. As I am trying to relax to get a good night's sleep before what will no doubt be a long day, I am trying to feel calm and rest in the fact that UCLA is a renowned medical and educational conglomeration and I have complete faith in their medical expertise and know that they are on the cutting edge in treating complex issues and diseases.
Below are some images I've collected over time online. They each speak to me for various and likely, obvious reasons. Just wanted to share some that feel pertinent at present.
Signing off, in hopes of health and healing to be mine shortly.
Regardless of whatever happens at my appointment tomorrow at least I know I will be indulging in some cat love with my boy Tink- that makes everything easier and more tolerable.
namaste, in health.
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