So. . . It has been a significant amount of time since I last posted, within this time most aspects of my life have undergone changes. Physically I was feeling incredible and a relapse was not only the furthest thing from my mind but it didn't even feel possible. I've moved about an hour away from my old life and childhood home and accepted a new job in December of 2014 in Ventura and I couldn't be happier- in that aspect of my life.
DUN DUN DUN.
Several weeks ago I had a quick twinge of pain while relaxing, watching TV one night. I ignored it believing that couldn't be this problem coming back, it simply couldn't be, it must've been just a passing fluke. Alas another week passes and every single symptom I previously experienced had returned, including an incredibly and uncomfortably bloated belly. So unfortunately my new life that was just beginning to feel more and more like home to me has been exposed to and poisoned by this awful disease and life-interrupting symptoms. Luckily my work has been incredibly understanding. They've been more understanding about this than I have. I cannot get over the shock that this is even really happening. My surgery was not even a year ago and I'm experiencing the same level of pain. This was simply not supposed to be happening!
Now I'm learning that it is more common than I knew for women to need more than one surgery due to adhesions recurring. And unfortunately there are things to do to help with symptoms but the ONLY way to deal with adhesions is to surgically remove them. And guess what?! Adhesions are caused by scar tissue and surgeries.
Compared to some other postings I've done, this one is purely from an emotional place; an emotional place feeling terrified, scared, confused, sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed, hopeless, lonely. I'm nearly crying at all times. Just can't get over the shock.
This following picture basically encompasses how I'm feeling at present:
And here is my bloated belly. It hurts so bad. I've been yet again experiencing people asking if I'm pregnant, or how far along I am, and wishes of congratulations and wellness from people assuming because of my age and how bloated I am that I must be pregnant. It still hurts just as badly as it did when this happened before. I absolutely despise seeing people in public now because I dread the moment that people will approach me in that way.
This following picture basically encompasses how I'm feeling at present:
And here is my bloated belly. It hurts so bad. I've been yet again experiencing people asking if I'm pregnant, or how far along I am, and wishes of congratulations and wellness from people assuming because of my age and how bloated I am that I must be pregnant. It still hurts just as badly as it did when this happened before. I absolutely despise seeing people in public now because I dread the moment that people will approach me in that way.
If you are planning on being at this event, maybe we can connect, my email address is acardiganlover@gmail.com shoot me am email and maybe wet can meet up :) ♡
With love, and determination, I vow to work more regularly blog and to do my part in raising awareness of this paralyzing, yet incredibly unknown condition.
namasté. ♡
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