dəˈpre,SH(ə)n & endōˌmētrēˈō,sis

In a recent post called [moh-men-tuh m] I shared about my current experience with depression, and I felt like expanding on that topic tonight. Over the past

This is me at the beach a few months ago; I was
quite pensive at this moment while experiencing
the beginning of the current relapse

two days I've been experiencing a very severe pain flare which has coincidentally (please read that with a tad bit of sarcasm lol) increased the depression I've been feeling. And since both endometriosis and depression seem to still be somewhat taboo topics to discuss, I've decided to open my big mouth to share about my experience.

At present my physical pain is easily at an 8 out of 10, and that is while on all of my pain medications, slathered in essential oils, luckily I have been blessed with countless kitty cuddles, some self-Reiki, heating pad and using my crystals.  I would say that my depression today is ranking at a similar level of severity. I think that both the endometriosis and depression feed off of and impact each other- the more pain I am in physically, the less good I feel emotionally. This seems so logical, right?! But at the same time as logical it seems, is as crappy as it seems to me. As if 'just' one of these issues were not enough then having both is definitely too much.

I thought I should start with a basic definition and description of depression for tonight's blog and have found this information on the site of NIMH (National Instute of Mental Health):

What Is Depression?

Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad. But these feelings are usually short-lived and pass within a couple of days. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you. Depression is a common but serious illness.

Many people with a depressive illness never seek treatment. But the majority, even those with the most severe depression, can get better with treatment. Medications, psychotherapies, and other methods can effectively treat people with depression.

There are several forms of depressive disorders.

Major depression,—severe symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a person’s lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes.

Persistent depressive disorder—depressed mood that lasts for at least 2 years. A person diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder may have episodes of major depression along with periods of less severe symptoms, but symptoms must last for 2 years.

Some forms of depression are slightly different, or they may develop under unique circumstances. They include:

• Psychotic depression, which occurs when a person has severe depression plus some form of psychosis, such as having disturbing false beliefs or a break with reality (delusions), or hearing or seeing upsetting things that others cannot hear or see (hallucinations).
• Postpartum depression, which is much more serious than the "baby blues" that many women experience after giving birth, when hormonal and physical changes and the new responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. It is estimated that 10 to 15 percent of women experience postpartum depression after giving birth.
• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is characterized by the onset of depression during the winter months, when there is less natural sunlight. The depression generally lifts during spring and summer. SAD may be effectively treated with light therapy, but nearly half of those with SAD do not get better with light therapy alone. Antidepressant medication and psychotherapy can reduce SAD symptoms, either alone or in combination with light therapy.

Bipolar disorder, also called manic-depressive illness, is not as common as major depression or persistent depressive disorder. Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes—from extreme highs (e.g., mania) to extreme lows (e.g., depression).

From WebMD I've taken the symptoms of depression:

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
• Overeating or appetite loss
• Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

 Unfortunately I would argue that each of these symptoms are also commonplace among the women who have endometriosis; I know I can say so for myself. I've also taken the symptoms of endometriosis from WebMD (while this isn't the most descriptive or inclusive list of endo symptoms it does what I need, which is just to make a point):

Some women with endometriosis don't have symptoms. Other women have symptoms that range from mild to severe. Symptoms may include:

• Pain, which can be:
  • Pelvic pain.
  • Severe menstrual cramps.
  • Low backache 1 or 2 days before the start of the menstrual period (or earlier).
  • Pain during sexual intercourse.
  • Rectal pain.
  • Pain during bowel movements.
• Infertility may be the only sign that you have endometriosis. Between 20% and 40% of women who are infertile have endometriosis.
• Abnormal bleeding. This can include:
  • Blood in the urine or stool.
  • Some vaginal bleeding before the start of the menstrual period.

Symptoms are often most severe just before and during your menstrual period. They get better as your period is ending. Some women, especially teens, have pain all the time.

When seeing each of the above endometriosis symptoms it is no wonder that women with endo could, and likely do experience bouts of depression. Endo can impact, if not completely invade and take over almost every aspect of our lives... Actually I'm struggling to think of an aspect of my life that has not been impacted by this disease and I'm truly struggling to do so. When I saw a doctor a few months ago (a substitute for my PCP since she was on maternity leave) for my pre-op appointment and when we went over my medication list (which unfortunately is never short anymore) he was shocked to see I was not on any type of depression medication. At first I was surprised at his reaction, but the more I think about it, especially now, I completely understand and it totally makes sense. How could someone be in chronic and constant severe, if not excruciating, pain NOT be depressed?! Ever since then I've been wondering the same thing. 

If you've read my prior post you know that I recently was hospitalized due to depression. It is not that I actively want to take action to end my life; it is more of a serious exhaustion, a loss of motivation/momentum and a fear of never-ending of these seriously debilitating symptoms in regards to endometriosis. I am tired of this being my life: my life being spent in bed, on the couch, or worse yet, on the bathroom floor. So it isn't quite accurate to say I'm suicidal necessarily; however, I am seriously tired and tired on another level, my body and soul are tired. I think there's a saying that works to describe how I feel: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. That pretty much sums it up in one sentence.

I have a feeling that this is going to be an ongoing topic to explore as I'm unable to experience one without the other, with the major impacts this disease keeps having in my life. This disease has truly impacted all significant areas of my life (professional,  romantic, social, personal) and in major ways (losing jobs and friends, missing out on the romantic part of my life for some time now, being in serious pain everyday for several months). Now I am trying to pick myself back up and get back to living.  It is exhausting but I'm going to continue doing my best to keep on keepin' on. 

Signing off in reluctant and tired, yet somewhat unrelenting, 

yet dwindling, hope, 

Stephanie

Keep Holding On

At present I'm going through a very severe bout of depression, from several sources of mounting stress, a major factor of course being the nearly extremely excruciating and constant amount of physical pain I am experiencing. Music is something in my life that is a major tool and I love it so. I decided to do a music -focused blog post and share some of my favorite songs, looking at the songs that I feel I need to listen to while feeling this way. I hope this playlist of sorts can help any of you out there in a similar state, or maybe this is something you can stash away should those feelings bubble toward the surface.

**Let me make an announcement about the videos and pictures I will be sharing, NONE OF THEM ARE MINE, they are simply found on youtube and google**

Here is one of my favorite songs, no matter how I'm feeling but lyrics-wise it is perfect for how I'm feeling as of late, the band is called Misterwives.

Shania Twain has a song called Today is Your Day and here is the video with the lyrics. It sure picks me up. I love playing it really loudly in the car and singing  my guts out to it!

One of my all time favorite singers is Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine. So much so that my best friend and I once saw her twice in the same tour. Not only does she have some of the most powerful lungs, interesting and catchy lyrics and tunes, but she is a magical performer. One of her songs, Shake it Out, is really a great song when feeling down. Here is an acoustic version video with the lyrics.

My parents used to listen to Fleetwood Mac in the car when we would be on car trips and I would hate it. Now, however they are one of my favorite bands, lol. They have a song called Don't Stop; I saw them live with my mom and this song performed live is just incredible and life-affirming. This isn't a live version video but it has the lyrics which I find helpful, especially if you don't happen to be familiar with the song.

Mariah Carey has several well known hits; however one less well known song hits me very close to home and expresses things I cannot put words to and you can find a video with lyrics to the song here. 

Sia has a hauntingly beautiful voice and it is a perfect fit for the song Breathe Me. Here is the video with lyrics. I love this song. Everything about is fits how I've been feeling the past several weeks.

Rascal Flatts has a lot of songs that I absolutely LOVE but this is the song I use as a pick me up and it always works. It is called Bless This Broken Road and this video has the lyrics in it as well.

Avril Lavigne is another of my favorites and her song Keep Holding On is a great song to hear when feeling down-- you can tell that just from the title alone. Here is the video with the lyrics.

These are just the songs I can think of off the top of my head. I know there are more so I will likely keep adding to this list. I hope it helps someone out there to feel even just a little bit better!

Sending love and healing wishes to my endo sisters out there and a safe path to happiness to those out there battling depression.

love and namaste,

Stephanie

[moh-men-tuh m]

Momentum.

To me momentum can also be referred to as life's energy,  or the force, the energy that moves us forward in life. Further,  momentum is much needed in order for us to continue on;  for what is life without forward movement. What does life become without momentum? 

As our lives progress momentum slows and eventually stops. That lessening and loss of momentum is inevitable. Chronic pain and disease can produce a similar lessening of momentum effect to that of aging. 

I can only speak to the impact of endometriosis from my personal experience and I can say that endo feeds on our very life source.

It is an incredibly painful disease that effects every part of our lives and can take a lot, if not everything, from the women who suffer with endometriosis.

How does one deal with this at the age of 31?! How and why do you get up day in and day out when you cannot find a reason to exist? What do you do when you feel like your life is nothing?  When you feel as though you'll never get anywhere? When you struggle to remember why you exist,  what your purpose is?  How do you keep going when the only thing that feels constant is severe physical pain,  discomfort and feeling worthless? What is the point?

I've been asking myself the past few days what happens when our momentum is gone in life and it is right now,  3:22am that the answer landed into my breaking heart: we become invisible. We become untethered.

Nighttime is even I feel most alone, the most untethered. The world stops.  At night no one is there to hear my thoughts, except me and that can be a sad and dangerous thing. Focusing on the negative aspects and degrading myself without hope is commonplace. This continues night after night. This leaves the presence of nothing good in this miserable world that I seem to be feeding off like a leech. Giving back nothing to society; rather hurting it, like the parasite that I have become. Once sleep comes, if it does,  flashbacks and terrifying nightmares of the past haunt me, beating whatever light I have remaining inside and all I want to do is finish this incredibly painful cycle by sacrificing myself. This option plays out in my mind, and soul, all night, over and over until I wake (that is IF I've slept).

These thoughts became unbearable and unstoppable last week and I didn't want to die so I went to the hospital and checked myself in.  It was a terrifying experience which I may write about later,  but for now I just wanted to share these feelings.

Though I am terrified to post this blog,  more than any other,  I'm hoping I can reach even just one girl who is suffering and let her knowthat when those dark feelings come there are places to go, people to help.  I am nowhere near healed or maybe even healthy at this time but I am on a path,  not even sure where it leads but I'm still walking. Step after painful step.

Signing off with love and peace for each soul who was in the hospital with me,  each suffering woman out there,  and appreciation for those souls willing to and wanting to help.

Just wanted to include some information for anyone needing assistance or having similar feelings, urges, thoughts,  etc:

No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

If anyone out there reading this needs support or sometime to share with please feel free to email me at acardiganlover@gmail.com
I am not offering any professional support rather a friend and understanding soul who wants to help.

Love and namastéॐ,
Stephanie

the long and not-so short of the endo

I was going over my blog the other day, looking back at post from years passed and realized that some of my posts chronicled various aspects and experiences of this insidious disease but realized I lacked a timeline which just gives a timeframe to my process of diagnosing and what procedures/treatments/surgeries I've tried at various times.

If you google 'endometriosis' this is the single sentence definition that is offered:

A disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus.

That statement makes it sound like something so insignificant and it has helped spur my mission of awareness of the disease AND what it does to the women who have it.  The following pictures are from one of my actual surgeries, showing both endometriosis and adhesions- which often go hand-in-hand.

1983- BORN

1996- Menstruation and endometriosis symptoms began.  Initially and for several years I only had problems every other month. But it was always intense- made several hospital trips with out of control pain,  nausea,  bleeding, etc- continued for years at this rate.

2005- 22 years old- begins increasing not only in severity but in frequency of symptoms to every month and frequently lasting longer than a week,  thus it began impacting my attendance with both work and school. Pain really became much harder to deal with and more intense.  This pushed me to find a cause.  Doctors initially began giving me all types of tests: colonoscopy,  endoscopy, barium xrays,  ct scans,  ultrasound,  and nothing was ever found. I feel like I was completely written off,  told that I needed counseling and an antidepressant. 

2007-2009- Began graduate school and was working at my first career-ish jobs.  My attendance began to suffer greatly due to unbearable pain and nausea and it was still due to an unknown cause.  This negative impact on significant parts of my life re-energized my determination to find out what was wrong. 

2009-2010- I changed my primary care physician and my life forever changed- in ways I could have no way of imagining. When I first met my doctor she was astonished that with all of the gi tests I had done,  not to mention the amount of radiation I had undergonewith those tests,  the number of medications I was on, was all while not having a diagnosis!  She did an exam,  listened to me and said I might be suffering from something called ENDOMETRIOSIS.  I had no idea what that meant or how it would impact my life. 

Once I had that word,  I felt life I had something to hold onto. It was gynecologist after gynecologist to no avail,  thus I received a referral to Cedars to have my first laparoscopy surgery to diagnosis the disease, or to rule it out. I had the lap done and was officially diagnosed with endometriosis and adhesions.  The surgeon did a uterine ablation. This was on Saint Patrick's day 2010, a day I will never forget. I still had hope at that time and did feel good for a few months post-operatively.

2010-2012 I experienced a few month-long reprieve following the ablation, I'd say 2-3 months. At this point I really had a limited knowledge about this disease and this early in my experience receiving specific medical care,  I STILL believed and believed IN doctors.  I believed that they would a) know about my disease, b) give me,  the patient,  my true options,  and c) guiding me to help make the best decisions regarding treatment...little did I know. 

Somewhere,  unfortunately I do not recall where or how, I heard that a hysterectomy could be helpful in providing a relief from symptoms.  It became my mission and I was determined like never before to have a hysterectomy.  Surgeons however are generally not itching to give 28 year old women hysterectomies. I understand how big of a decision it is but they didn't understand what I was going through physically,  emotionally,  mentally,  spiritually,  while suffering with the endometriosis which was becoming worse and worse day by day. 

I was getting to the place where I felt I could no longer handle it,  in more ways than one.  I was sure that I had made the decision that was right for me.  I've never wanted children,  and I couldn't sacrifice my entire current life, which is what helps build our future,  for a thing that I have never wanted,  and only slightly MIGHT want someday. No doctor that I had seen could seem to hear that and understand how much and how deeply I meant it.  I was really experiencing, if anything in reality I was downplaying my suffering,  NOT exaggerating it. 

In the spring of 2012 I finally found MY doctor.  He listened to me,  I had even brought my mom as my witness to help me prove my case,  thinking maybe he would listen more.  He did.  He said he would do the surgery. I don't think words can express the excitement and anticipatory relief I could feel. I could see myself having a life. 

A week later I had my surgery,  a vaginal hysterectomy.  The recovery was the easiest (this was my 2nd surgery of 5) of all my surgeries because I had no external incisions to deal with.  I felt incredible,  better than I had in years and years. I was able to live my life, and boy did I. I had 18 great months.  

2013-2014 unfortunately 18 months later each and every symptom embed up returning,  and with a vengeance,  just as bad,  of not worse than before my surgery. I was devastated.  Emotionally I was at one of my lowest times in my life.  I didn't know what to do.  I went back to my diagnostic surgeon and he essentially forced me to go back onto a treatment I didn't want to use.  I had one injection in January 2014 and over the next 6 months I was hospitalized, only including admissions and not just er trips,  6 times,  staying sometimes as long as a week.  Due to the treatment I underwent I was diagnosed with a drug-related hepatitis.  I also had to have a cholecystectomy and because I had no gallstones or any infection,  only pain,  and because I later learned that I had disease on my liver,  ribs and lungs-practically every organ in my abdominal cavity,  I believe my cholecystectomy was endo-related. 

I was informed of a specialist surgeon. I somewhat desperately contacted him and arranged to have surgery, that I seriously thought and was led to believe would be my most complicated,  but even more importantly my LAST surgery. I had my operation and found disease and/or adhesions on my liver,  ribs,  appendix  (which was removed),  bladder,  intestines/colon,  rectovaginal septum,  kidney,  uteters,  vaginal cuff,  ovary,  and had an overall very extensive and complicated surgery.  The recovery was rough, long and very, very hard.  Emotionally I had begun to let go of endometriosis, as I truly believed this was my miracle!

2014-2015- Devastatingly, including my excision surgery recovery,  I only had a 5-6 month long reprieve.  What a disappointment to pay CASH,  see a specialist to only have 5 or 6 months of feeling good,  which included my rocky recovery of about 3 months. This is something I am still somewhat reeling from emotionally. I found an amazing robotic specialist surgeon within one of the most renowned medical and educational conglomerations in our country.  He performed am oopherectomy and lysis of adhesions and yet further excision of endometriosis.  Unfortunately when I contacted my prior surgeon for assistance and guidance with this latest relapse,  he responded with touting that I couldn't have endo because he had performed my surgery and said I needed to see a dietician and to seek counseling (coming from another physician I had entrusted my past experiences), a complete dismisal of what I was going through and how bad it was,  and how similar it is to what I was experiencing before my surgery with him in 2014. His disrespectful response and lack of compassion are what steered me toward finding a new specialist surgeon.

At Present- I find myself in a quandary. I have no female reproductive organs left,  I've had 5 surgeries for this disease in the last 5 1/2 years.  Emotionally now I'm just wrecked.  I truly thought this was going to be over. I'm not suicidal per say, it's more accurate to say I'm just exhausted,  on another level exhausted.  So tired it hurts.  I don't know what to do.  It seems to feel like life has been fight after fight after fight, and for what?  That I don't know.  At my age it is very difficult to live and cope without being able to have any momentum to go forward and onward in my life. I feel like I cannot catch my footing,  so to speak,  in my own body,  much less my life. It is very discouraging to see these specialists and to not experience long-standing relief after such extensive, well done operations and countless treatments.  Why am I not getting better?  Why can't I have a life?  I see girls that have successful treatments and though the disease never goes away, they are able to live and even enjoy their lives.  I hate to admit this,  but I'm jealous.  

This post ended up being a little long but I am just trying to express how deeply and significantly this whole nearly 20 years long journey with this devastating,  all but fatal,  disease. In short,  yea right lol,  I just don't know what to do or how to exist in this emotional place.  It has been quite a journey and I'm trying to hold onto hope,  though to be honest sometimes in trying to find hope.  20 years is a very long time.  I have found it both a powerful and cathartic process to use my writing in this arena.  I can only hope that it helps to raise awareness about endo and destigmatize the women that have it further to help my sisters to remember they are not alone in this fight.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.  Sending thoughts of health, peace and healing to each of my readers and my sisters.

                                    signing off in love ॐnamastéॐ

Stephanie

                   

                                                      

finding balance in endo

I took a few days away this week to go up to my house up in the mountains. Desperately needed some alone time to recover further, reflect and just exist while soaking up the beautiful nature I love so much of the mountains!

I did some adventurous things like a hike, my first post-opertative hike at that and tried my very first try at stand up paddle boarding. It was a beautiful time out on the water!

Here I am on my hike. We did maybe 1.5 miles.
It felt great but I had to take my time.

YAY!!! I DID IT!!!!! I didn't fall in at all! It
was hard but so so so fun!

Took a quick selfie before I took off from the dock!

My few days away definitely accomplished my goals; however that is not to say that I wasn't in excruciating pain at some times, and having some level of pain at almost all times. Luckily I had packed all of my crystals, essential oils, incense and medications to try to keep in under control.

This crystal is green calcite, for healing and new birth

If you've been keeping up with my blog you may have read my post called What Else?, Part One. That post has some things in it that are important to understand before I continue with my explanation of an important epiphany that I'd like to share. So I'll share a brief statement of that blog post:

Whatever struggles you're experiencing may feel or seem overwhelming, I feel that way sometimes with what I'm going through. But the current mantra I'm working with is "what else is true?" So I am learning to be able to lift up out of my pain, which is very real, and see something else that is also very real but more positive. For example on this morning of Independence Day, I am in a lot of pain while writing this, BUT what else true?! What else is true is, I am in the beautiful mountains with people I love, I am going to be going to a firework show tonight and I know it will be amazing, I am able to revel in and deeply breathe in the healing properties of nature. 

With my amazing therapist I am working on this concept nearly constantly as I have been in so much physical and emotional pain that it has become nearly overwhelming. While it is a very helpful technique, sometimes I find it nearly impossible to utilize. Why, I began asking myself. And after some thought, reflection, meditation it finally came to me. I'm still working on how to express it as accurately as I can but here goes:

So with endo in particular you have to fight fight fight like nothing else to prove to the doctor that something isn't right, fight not to be mistreated or ignored- and that includes friends, family not only medical professionals, since people do not understand the disease or the amount of suffering that it causes, you have to fight to have the right, so to speak, to not feel well.  I don't know if that makes any sense.  So even though the disease isn't something we want, we have to hold onto it.  It feels scary to follow my mantra of "what else" sometimes.  That doesn't mean I don't want to use it.  I do it when I can, using the what else is true really, really helps.  Sometimes the pain feels too overwhelming and I just don't think of it. But I think my occasional shying away from that technique is much deeper than that.

You know that syndrome that people get after being held hostage and they begin to sympathize with their captors?  That is kind of what this feels like. Because of the legitimate hell I've gone through with this disease, the 5 surgeries I've had, the friends and jobs I've lost due to this disease, there is some type of strange emotional response regarding this disease and how it impacts my life.  This is where it begins to splinter into being even more complicated aspects of how this impacts me. This is hard, but I'm going to try to explain my deepest feelings in this regard. 

First let me say that this is a process and I'm definitely not far along in it but I am able to reflect in on myself and discover these things, when I allow myself.

So one thing I have noticed in this process is how much guilt/shame/blame I have in regards to my disease.  I am the kind of person who completely over apologizes and takes everything personally and I can somehow blame myself for anything. And am quite skilled at beating myself up. I am working on this but this is the internal tape I've played in my life for most of my life, so that isn't an instant process. However, I have a feeling that this blaming myself and having such a cloak of shame around my initially having endometriosis and then again, more intensely with each relapse I've experienced following each surgery.

Another issue that this disease has stirred within me is a sense of near hopelessness. It isn't that I don't want to have hope, but I've had such devastating experiences with hope and having it broken for so many years with countess medications, even more doctors and even surgeries!! I feel like I can no longer afford the severe cost of hope. I am struggling with finding a balance between hope and being realistic; this is a real current issue in my life, as I am seven weeks out from another surgery that I thought would be "it" for me, and alas it has not been. I do believe this might have been the best surgery I've had, and had it done by a super meticulous and experienced robotic surgeon; however, now we fear the disease is somewhere he wouldn't have had access or even knowledge of it existing during my procedure- so it feels never ending. This was another time where I lost a lot of hope, while losing my last female reproductive organs at the same time (ovaries).

Because of how hard I had to fight for my diagnosis and even for adequate, respectful, knowledgeable medical care, it is hard to put my weapons, so to speak, down. It is like I had to be on constant guard and ready to "prove" to physicians what was going on. I do not believe this is how the medical system should work. I had repulsive things said to me over the years from doctors: I've been told my problem was that I wiped too hard when I go to the bathroom, I've had a surgeon tell me that I didn't have anymore endometriosis and I needed to see a dietician-- both of these experiences are a complete dismissals of my experience. In someways I feel like I have to stay very vigilant in order to have any relief or options given to me. Its almost like I feel like if I let go a little bit of it, or ease up it will get worse and I will not get the treatment options that I need. This disease, more than many others, you have to truly be a very educated, strong, determined advocate for yourself or you'll get completely ignored and mistreated. 

With how hard I had to fight to get diagnosed It is almost hard to let go of, or hard to get it out of my immediate thinking part of myself. I have a feeling that this is something that can only be understood when you've been there also.  I also have a feeling that part two of this post will be up in the coming days! 

Signing off in peace and love,

♡ stephanie ॐ 

Ice Breakers and an Intro to BRAVE healing, nearly 4 years late!

I was reflecting over past blogs and realized that I should have a fun kind of blog. So I decided an Ice Breaker type post might be fun, obviously if you're a reader, you know a lot about my endometriosis experience, but not much else. Found some fun questions, so here goes!

What is your earliest memory?

         Picking out my cat at 4 years old.

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid.

         Having things less physically painful

What was your favorite musical group when you were in Junior High?

         No Doubt, for sure, lol ;)

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

          I changed my interests several times, marine biologist, lawyer, teacher.

What was your favorite childhood injury?

         My favorite injury happened just five years ago, so I was already 26 lol, I fell off the curb of my house and broke my leg in half -- resulted in two surgeries and four months of not walking, fun fun.

When was the first time that you had beer?

          I was like 8 and took it accidentally from the table while sitting with my dad, I spit it right  out.

Do you have any hidden talents?

          Hmmmmm, I don't think so.....

What jobs do your parents do?

          Both of my parents taught elementary school, my mom taught kindergarten, and my dad, second grade.

Name one thing that not many people know about you.

           Hmmm I guess with a very personal written and now even video blog on YouTube, people would probably not think I am as shy as I am!

Was there ever a time when you were frightened for your life?

           More than I can count and for even more reasons!

What outdoor activities do you like to do?

           Camping, hiking, SWIMMING (Jamie that was for you!), road trips, zip-line

Where is your most favorite place on this earth?

            Oh gosh I guess I'm between Spain, this tiny village in Italy and Capri, Italy.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

          I guess I would consider it to be my accomplishing my Master's Degree in Gerontology and to have my 3rd degree Reiki certification.

Do you have any phobias?

          FISH!

Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?

          Geriatric counseling/mental health

Do you believe in ghosts?

          YES, but they make me nervous.

What do you value most in life?

          L O V E

What would be your dream job?

          Running a retreat center/support group/etc focused on helping young woman with endometriosis!

What is important to you right now?

          Right now regaining my health is definitely most important in my life.

Just thought this might be a fun  post. Tomorrow morning I am returning home from my few days away. Right now I am in excruciating pain and am looking forward to returning to my baby tomorrow.  Tomorrow I think I will do a post about this trip!